


university (an l.s. fic)

by ohmygodimgay



Category: 1D - Fandom, Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction, liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: 1d gay, Gay, M/M, direction, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, stylinson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-09 01:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15255999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmygodimgay/pseuds/ohmygodimgay
Summary: harry is an insomniac and louis is a mysterious chainsmoker with a secret.harry's pov, au





	1. chapter one

It wasn't until three the first morning that I knew my insomnia was going to be a problem in university. Back in high school, night after night I would stay up late, simply because my brain forced me to do nothing else. The next day, I would roll through my classes with sleep still caked in my eyes. C's and B's are pretty okay in grades six through twelve, but once you've made it to uni, it's a  _completely_  different thing. You feel like you're suffocating, getting crushed by the pressure of adulthood, the stakes are suddenly higher, etcetera, etcetera. And at that point the classes hadn't even started yet. A lot of people aren't nearly equipped to handle such situations, except I was a bit different.

Sure, being away from home was a downer, and sure, I missed seeing my family, but I was lucky to actually be  _in_ university. Taking into account all of my past procrastination, it was a close call in seeing whether I was going to actually make it to the next school or not. The campus was pretty good; a beautiful space with a friendly faculty, not to mention a pretty nice flatmate. I was pleasantly surprised how easily this new independence was coming to me, living away from home was loads more exciting than not. 

University residence halls are quiet on a Thursday night, especially when half of the first year class still has yet to move in. Across from me was my flatmate, Liam Payne, lightly snoring on his mattress. He was an  _extremely_  attractive guy, with dark hair and an exceedingly toned body. Unfortunately, this boy was straighter than anyone I had met in quite awhile, a picture of his girlfriend as his iPhone wallpaper. He'd taken me out to a local pub that night for drinks, talking highly of his family and upbringing. So far, I had no complaints, but this was only the first day of many.

I'd been tossing and turning in the dark for quite awhile now, rustling around every so often to find a new, and hopefully, more comfortable position. Liam had proved to be a deep sleeper in these first few hours together, and I didn't want him to change his opinions of me by continuing to move about noisily. Well, at least not _yet_.

Quickly and quietly, I got out of bed and put on some joggers and a sweatshirt. With the time I had left on a mostly empty campus, I might as well get to explore. I made sure I had my keys and cell phone before I left, although I knew that no one would be up at this hour to be trying to contact me. Closing the door softly, I snuck down the hall and away from the idea of sleeping. It was hard to call university 'home' now that I was away from my family, because this was only a temporary stage of my life. The next four years felt more like a roadblock than an upcoming milestone, my bachelor's degree couldn't come soon enough.

The dorms were sectioned off by gender, which, in my opinion, is  _incredibly_  unhelpful in the case of students who may be agender, nonbinary, or something similar. Out of the two floors, the top was for the women and the bottom for the men. Lavatories were communal and showers only stalls with curtains. Privacy was hard to come by in university dorms, but the stalls were oddly comfortable considering how short they were.

I strode into the common room leisurely, expecting to see an empty space before me. Instead, I was rather surprised when presented with the opposite. Sitting at the long, open table was a lad with shaggy brown hair. He looked about my age, staring down at a paper cup of coffee, headphones stuck in his ears. If I was being honest, I thought he was good looking, but I wasn't close to actually admitting that to anyone but myself. I hadn't been out of the closet for too long, and there was no need to create any kind of label for myself in my first week. God knows that I didn't need to be labeled as 'the gay kid'.

His head stayed down, and as I approached him, I began to hear the music blasting into his ears grow louder. I came to a slow stop in front of him, not knowing whether to sit down or stay standing. I waited until I heard his song finish, then cleared my throat loudly. He yanked his headphones out violently, then paused his music. He avoided eye contact with me.

"Um..." I watched him reach down and pull a Monster energy drink from down by his feet. "Are you alright?"

He popped the tab on the drink, took off the lid of his coffee, poured the  _entire_ can into the cup, and downed it all in under ten seconds. I watched as he wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his black hoodie and made a face. "I think I'm dying," He said loudly.

I was speechless. "Well... maybe hold back on the caffeine?"

Shaking his head, he snorted at me, "It's the only thing that's keeping me awake."

"But why would you want to stay awake?"

Silence.

_Fuck, Harry, you forced conversation and this is what you get. You imposed on this poor bastard's problems. This is not how you make friends._

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I recoiled.

He tapped his fingers on the table at warp speed. "It's okay."

"I'm Harry, Harry Styles," I extended my hand in welcome. "And I'm sorry again for my clumsy behavior, I'm a bit new at this whole 'independence' thing."

"I'm Louis Tomlinson," He did the same back. "And I  _really_ wish you would stop apologizing."

I felt my cheeks get hot as I made the decision to sit, "So, uh, you're a freshman too?"

He nodded, "First year, first time away from home like this."

"Hey, mine too." That finally got him to look up at me. Louis's eyes were a dark, sea green. With a trick of the light, you may have even mistaken them for a shade of brown. Something about the way that he looked at you was sad, it made you want to comfort him, try to do whatever it took to fix the broken pieces.

Louis nodded, putting the top back on the empty coffee cup. "Do you like your home?"

"Mostly, I miss my family already," I smiled and looked down at my lap. "What about you?"

He paused, fishing something out of his back pocket. "It's okay." His callused hands set a pack of cigarettes on the table, he picked up the pack and shook them. "Do you smoke?"

"Not usually."

"Have you ever?"

"I've smoked pot at parties before."

"But cigarettes?"

I just shook my head, feeling as if I wasn't "cool" enough.

"It's a nasty habit, don't suggest picking it up." Louis pulled a lighter out next, glancing over at the 'No Indoor Smoking' sign. "Do you want to come outside with me? I just want to..." He made a motion as if he had a cigarette hanging from his fingers, then brought it up to his lips for a false puff.

"Sure, yes." I said a bit too quickly.

I followed Louis outside into the brisk air, the sky hanging long and dark above our heads. We stopped to sit on a short, stone wall underneath a tree. He cupped his hand around the flame to protect it from the breeze, then put the lighter back in his pocket.

"Wait," I said abruptly.

He raised his eyebrows in reply.

"Can I try?"

He grinned, tapping his hyper foot on the ground and handing me his cigarette, "Be my guest."

I inhaled my first breath, surprised at how bitter it tasted compared to anything else I'd smoked before. The coughing began on my exhale, I wasn't prepared for the feeling of the dirty smoke leaving my lungs. Louis chuckled and put a hand on my back, "You'll get used to it."

After a minute or so the coughing ceased, and I felt a buzz, "Can I have a whole one?"

Louis let it dangle from his beautiful lips and handed me both his pack and lighter, small smirk playing across his mouth. I lit one up myself and handed him back both of his belongings. My second try at breathing in the nicotine was more successful than the first, trying my best to hold back the cough as it started coming.

"So, Harry," Louis smoked effortlessly, as if he had been practicing for years, which I wouldn't have been surprised if he had. "What are you here for?"

My mouth was dry, "You mean in college?"

He nodded, flicking ash onto the pavement.

"Well, hopefully some kind of law degree."

Louis whistled under his breath, then laughed. "Law!"

"Yes, law."

"I see."

"And you?"

"Hopefully a bachelor's in English, something I am fairly good at."

I took another suck, smoking was getting easier bit by bit. All I did was nod in response to Louis. Finally I said, "How come you're up so late?" I knew that I was once again prodding at the subject he was trying to avoid, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

It took him awhile before he opened his mouth, it was the calmest I had seen him in our whole time of knowing each other, which all added up to around twenty minutes. "Sleep has been difficult for me as of late," He admitted.

"Just going to sleep?" The look on his face showed that I was asking about business that I had no part in.

"I guess just the process of sleep itself," He dropped his cigarette butt on the ground and crushed it under his shoe. "Falling into it vulnerable with the fear that it could go wrong. And dreaming." Louis looked as the ground, shutting his eyes hard and paused. "Why are  _you_ up so late?" He teased, smiling wide like nothing had happened.

"I am clinically a hardcore insomniac," I told him. "I haven't been able to fall asleep easily since I was very young."

Louis fiddled with his hands as he watched me finish my cigarette, depositing it in the wastebin beside us. I went and sat back down next to him. "How did that feel?"

I shrugged, smirking, "This boy is no longer a cigarette virgin." He laughed loudly, putting a hand on my back.

Louis began playing with my hair then, weaving the curls between his fingers. "Wow," He sighed. "I  _love_  your hair."

I chuckled, "Why?"

"It's so soft, I wanna just sleep on a pillow of it."

I never wanted him to stop touching me, his fingers felt like magic.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

I had already tried butting into the troubles this boy had, so why not? "Of course, Louis."

"What is your sexuality?"

I felt my body tense, Louis's fingers traveling dangerously close to my ticklish neck. Only my family and close friends knew that I was gay, I'd gone through secondary school without getting too close with anyone. At any dance or celebration held by the institution, you would usually find me with friends. Even at prom I was without any kind of romantic date. I'll admit, there was a point where I'd kissed a girl. I was unconditionally, thoroughly wasted. There obviously wasn't any lasting impression about the experience, because to this day, I still cannot remember what it felt like. All I know is that a part of me didn't like it. Disastrously, it got everyone to think that I was heterosexual, which wasn't close to the truth one bit.

Before I'd driven to campus with my parents the morning before, I made a promise to myself. University was a whole other shot at being myself, at being a whole new Harry. I wasn't going to hold anything back, I was going to be  _completely_  me. The next stage of my life was about creating my persona and character traits, and to begin that, I needed to be able to be comfortable inside and out.

"I'm... I'm gay." Finally saying it out loud like that felt marvelous.

Louis looked down at his feet, smiling.

"What?"

"That's funny, because so am I."

 

 


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i also have this published on wattpad just btw if people like that format better. my username is the same as here!

"Rise and shine!" Liam exclaimed, throwing aside the one and only curtain that we had.

I squinted up at him, the light hurting my vision as it was still early in the morning. He was already dressed and put together, standing over my head. "What time is it?"

"Eight-thirty," He grinned, then clapped his hands together loudly. "Get dressed! We have the weekend to socialize before term begins." It seemed that Liam hadn't heard me leave the room during the night, or caught me coming back inside around six. 

Sighing, I groaned, "I'm coming, go get your head start."

Liam pursed his lips together, "Suit yourself, if I meet some hot girl that you seem to end up fancying, shame on you." I'd nearly forgotten at this point that Liam still thought I was straight. I decided that it was a conversation for later as he left the room. Going to my box of clothes that sat in the corner, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater that seemed to go nicely together.

The dorm was separated into two halves, both Liam and I's sides. His was wholly perfected; bed made, clothes in his section of the closet, a few photos taped to the walls. My side was messy and unkempt; most boxes still taped shut, comforter in a ball at the foot of the bed, clothes lying in a pile on the mattress.

I left our dorm about fifteen minutes after Liam had awoken me. The campus was already bustling early with young adults moving in. The first weekend of the school year was designated for any new students to move into their dorms.

Liam was standing across the green grass from the entrance to the building. He was talking up a short, blonde boy in a red polo shirt. A brunette girl bumped into me on my walk over, giving me a dirty look.

"Harry!" Liam exclaimed, spotting me approaching.

I smiled, a little flustered with meeting yet  _another_  new person. "Hi," I said under my breath.

"Harry, this is Niall," Liam put his hand on my shoulder. "He is in his first year as well."

Niall gave me a firm handshake, "Pleasure to meet you, Harry."

I nodded and pretended to pay attention. "The pleasure is mine."  _Where was Louis_? I thought.

Liam and Niall returned back to a conversation regarding the courses they were taking. I overheard Niall mentioning that he was a medical student. He'd come from a family of doctors, so it seemed as though he was under quite a lot of pressure to be successful. I stood and made it seem like I was present as I scanned the busy courtyard for the mysterious boy I had met the night before.

Standing awkwardly beside the two bonding chatterboxes, I spotted Louis across the grass, leaning against the side of the school building and smoking a cigarette. His eyes were already trained on me, a quick smile played across his lips as I met his gaze. I couldn't help but grin at the idea of talking to him again, and smoking sounded relaxing.

"Hey, Liam?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"I'll see you in awhile, alright? Shoot me a message if anything happens."

"Um, alrighty then. See you later." He sounded confused, but I knew he would be entertained with Niall.

I took off quickly towards Louis, remaining careful to not look too eager. He ruffled his hair, putting it into another position, then rolled up the sleeves of his denim jacket.

"Hello," I said.

"Hi," He replied. "Did you get to bed alright?"

"It was pretty okay, and you?"

"Not for long, but I guess so." I watched his lips hold the cig for a moment while he reached for his pack. "Want one?"

I sighed with relief, "Glad I didn't have to ask." He watched me light up and then accepted the pack back. We stood for a second in silence, but then Louis piped up beside me.

"Look at all of them," He motioned out at the crowd. "None of them have  _any_  idea what they're getting into."

I kept getting the urge to cough and reject the smoke in my lungs, but suffering through the discomfort I added, "Do you?"

He chuckled to himself, "I doubt I do."

Suddenly, I felt a buzz in my back pocket. "'Scuse me for just a sec." Louis just nodded in reply as the buzz continued. I stepped away and pulled it out. Had Liam already gotten bored without me?

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"I see you across the lawn!" He singsonged. "Niall just mentioned that you're talking to his flatmate."

"Actually?"

"Yes, Harry!"

"Are you and Niall going to do something? Or..."

"Did you know that lad previous to uni?" I could hear Niall's voice in the background as Liam paused. "Is he someone you're interested in? Harry,  _are you gay_?"

"Why won't you answer my question?" I sang back.

Liam sighed on the other end, "Are. You. Gay."

"Yes, Liam!" I paused then exhaled loudly. "Are you going out with Niall, yes or no?"

"Yes, later tonight, and you two can come if you want." I looked up and saw him still standing by Niall, he gave me a smirk.

"Text me with the details and I'll keep you posted."

"Alright," He was quiet for a second. "And Harry?"

"Yes, Liam."

"If you get into any compromising positions, make sure to use protection." I could  _hear_  his smile without even looking.

"Oh,  _God_!"

"And let me know beforehand so I won't walk in and spoil any mood."

"Goodbye Liam," I said shortly and hung up on him. Louis snickered as I approached him once again, hoping he hadn't heard much. "What are  _you_  laughing about?"

Louis flicked his ashes onto the ground, "Sounds like someone got you pretty heated."

I came to stand beside him, "It's no big deal, my flatmate is just being a twat."

"Well," Louis leaned close to me. I could smell musk and cigarettes, I could feel his breath on my cheek. "If only  _I_  could get the chance to get you so worked up."

My heart lept into my throat and my body was buzzing. "D-do you wanna go out tonight with some people I know?"

I could feel the sexual tension resonating in the air. "How long until then?"

"The rest of today."

"I would  _love_  to."

All I could do was smile. Despite Louis's tough exterior, somewhere inside of him he was soft. Something inside of him wanted to care, to create a bond with me. But there was also something holding him back, some piece that made him put up such an unapproachable exterior.

"Apparently, our flatmates have become friends." I reported.

"Are they now? Interesting. So you've met Niall I'm guessing."

I nodded, "He seems fairly nice. And have you seen Liam yet?"

"Briefly, just a bit ago. He seems like a good person."

"He is," I was quiet.

"You know," Louis stubbed out his cigarette on the brick wall of the building we stood by. "As much as I love talking with you, I'm not going to let you bum smokes off of me forever."

His sass was searing, but all I could do was laugh. "But that's the bridge that makes it into an actual habit, isn't it?" 

Louis nodded, "You're smart, Styles. Give yourself some credit." 

I blushed and took a long bitter drag, "Not too bad yourself."

"You know, I think it's about time I get to bed for a little while. Can't survive awake forever!" Louis said with a smile. No matter what he said, he always radiated. "I'll probably just have to take something to calm down." This is also the point in which I realized he had never gone to bed in the first place after I'd left him. I wish I'd had the energy to keep him company during the last few hours.

"Alright," I replied. "Are you okay?" The idea of him going and sleeping alone worried me, especially with how much it sounded like he feared dreaming.

He smiled again, but this time it was obviously forced. "Never better. Let Niall know the plans and I'll see you this evening." I stepped on my cigarette butt as I watched him walk away. 

 


	3. chapter three

It was seven when Louis and I met back at the same place on the grounds where we had split. As I walked up, I was surprised to see him already standing there, finishing a cigarette against the side of the school. He had lost the aura of exhaustion, this was the most lively I had ever seen him.

"Hello!" He called out to me. He shone even brighter than usual.

I was beaming, "Hi!"

"Where to, Sir?" He linked his arm with mine, making me jump.

"Um, t-the pub. Liam and Niall are down at the one about a mile away," We began walking.

The walk to the pub didn't take long. We made awkward small talk with an electricity hanging in the air. Louis was much more animated than usual. His eyes lit up whenever we would talk about something he was interested in and his quips were slicker and more pronounced. We also discovered during our short chat that we shared an English class. 

Niall and Liam were sitting along the bar drinking pints when we got there. Louis dropped his grip on my arm as we got closer to them. Something inside my chest fizzled.

"Lads, lads, lads!" Niall roared, he was already a bit tipsy. "How are you doing?"

"Great, thanks! How long have you been here?" Louis peeled off his jacket, laying it on his stool before he sat. I sat next to him on the old peeling leather.

"Just an hour," He chortled. "I've only had  _two_  beers." Niall pointed to the two very large and very empty glasses.

"I think that counts as more than two," I said under my breath, making Louis snort.

"A round for my pals here, bartender!" Liam called, waving his hand in our direction. Although he seemed to be taking his alcohol better than Niall, the influence was clear. The bartender looked unamused, his patience dissipating before my very eyes. He set down drinks in front of Louis and I, I mouthed a "thank you" as we made eye contact.

The pub wasn't exactly "hopping" with energy, it was considerably calm. A few female students from our university sat packed into a booth, fruity drinks draining from their glasses one sip at a time.

"Hey, Li," Niall leaned closer to his drunk friends. "Look at those ladies in the corner."

"Sorry, bud," Liam pulled out his phone, nearly dropping it, and showed him his lockscreen. "I'm  _taken_!"

"Well, these two aren't." Niall slurred, jabbing fingers in Louis and I's direction.

Liam just started chuckling.

"What?"

The laughing continued, I couldn't help up join in.

"C'mon, you guys, spit it out!"

"Good luck trying to set up Harry with any  _girl_ ," He sputtered.

"What? Why? Is he taken too?"

The corner of Louis's mouth turned up at Niall's confusion. At this point, Liam was howling.

"What am I missing?" Niall asked.

"Harry's gay!" Louis finally said.

"Really?"

"Yes,  _really_ ," I interjected.

For the first time, Niall was quiet. "Well, those are some  _pretty_  girls, and I am going to go and try to flirt with them." He stood up shakily, "Louis? Are you going to come?"

"Sorry," Louis replied, holding up a hand. "I'm gay, too."

The slightly intoxicated Niall sighed, then muttered under his breath, " _Everyone's_ gay." He sauntered off in the direction of the girls as we observed from the bar. The girls gave him an odd look as he approached. It was eventually seemed after a few minutes, though, that he was having some kind of success. Liam got bored watching Niall do well and struck up conversation with us once again.

"So," Liam said, slightly more bashed. "What are you guys going to do after college? What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to write books," Louis replied. "Hence the English degree."

"What type of books?" I interjected.

"I'm interested in mysteries and crime novels usually." Louis took a gulp of his beer. "It could also be interesting to see someone write about a gay detective for once."

"What about you, Harry?" Liam quizzed.

Before I could open my mouth, Louis interrrupted. "No, no,  _I_  can answer that."

Liam laughed, "Go ahead!"

He paused for dramatic effect. "Harry wants to be a  _lawyer_."

Liam took another long drink of his beer, "I knew that you were a law student, but I didn't think that you wanted to be like..." I could see the gears turning in his head as he searched for the words. "A full. Blown.  _Lawyer_."

"It just makes the most sense to me practically," I shrugged. 

"But is that where your heart is?" Louis interjected.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Is your lifelong passion to fight for the underdog and win the case? Or keep someone out of jail? Or maybe even end up fighting for the side that you personally disagree with?" I had never thought about it that way, he had a point.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. Yet again Louis had taken the words right out of my mouth. "I don't know."

Patting himself on the chest, Liam broke the silence by going, " _I'm_  going to be an  _engineer_."

"Are you now?"

"Yes!"

Niall returned then, smirking and looking satisfied with himself. "I got her number." He flashed an ink stained napkin in our direction before pocketing it. He looked as if he was waiting for an applause as he hesitated, but looked crestfallen when there was none bestowed upon him. 

Louis leaned over towards me and whispered, "Three to one odds she gave him a fake number." I just laughed.

Niall then struck up an awfully straight conversation with Liam, talking about the new attractive girls he'd been seeing around campus. I stared awkwardly at the older bartender as he mixed drinks and wiped things clean. 

Louis swished the beer around in his large mug, "The audacity of these two, huh?"

I laughed sheepishly, "I never truly understood men." I began to fiddle with the napkin under my glass being used as a coaster. The thin white paper was wet and soggy. Louis began doing the same next to me. 

"Neither did I." Louis's little finger creeped closer to mine. The sides of our hands touched, I could feel his sunshine melting out. 

"Haaaarry," Liam sang. I jumped at the sudden loud noise. 

"Y-yes?" I stuttered. Louis seemed amused sitting next to me as my cheeks turned a dark shade of pink. 

"Do you want another beer?" He asked. 

"Harry wants a vodka soda, actually. And so do I," Louis said. I kept trying to speak up and say no but it was no use. I guess Louis and I were having vodka sodas. 

The four of us stuck around for another hour or so. At that point Niall and Liam were too far gone to walk themselves back to campus so their safety was up to Louis and I. I had been known for being a bit of a lightweight, so I was surprised how well I was holding my liquor. 

Louis walked in between Niall and Liam down the sidewalk back to campus, I trailed along behind as extra reinforcement. Liam and Niall were obnoxiously singing camp songs that they'd found they had in common. 

They were howling something about sea lions when Louis piped up. "Harry? How're you doing back there?"

"Pretty good," I slurred slowly. I didn't feel that drunk. Was I actually that drunk? I sounded that drunk. I continued walking forward.  _One foot in front of the other, Harry_. From the corner of my eye, I saw Louis glance back at me grinning. How was he still so sober?

Eventually we made it back to campus and it was surprisingly quiet. Well, all except for Liam and Niall's singing that is. Considering how late it was, when we entered the building we tried to get them to be as quiet as possible. It was unfortunately difficult to cover up their loud chatter and stumbling. The noise made me a bit anxious because I didn't want to give anyone a bad first impression of us. 

"We should try to be a little bit more aware of our surroundings, guys," I said softly. 

Liam was barely awake and Louis was carrying most of his weight. "Relax, babe. It's all in good fun."

My anxiety completely disappeared as Louis's words sunk in.  _'Babe.' 'Baaabe.' 'Babe.'_ Niall then dropped to his knees on the stairs and began crawling, giggling intensely. 

"What in the fucking hell is this?" A new and unknown flatmate bellowed. He was standing at the top of the stairs with his hands on his hips. It was obvious that he had just woken up and we'd been the ones to disturb him. 

"Zayn!" Louis cried out in delight. "How's it hanging, big guy?"

"What's  _hanging_  is that I'm trying  _fucking sleep_." Zayn was extremely good looking as well. His dark hair waved and fell around his soft eyes. I hoped that this casual encounter wouldn't make him hate me. 

"I'm really sorry. They're drunk," I glanced up at him, trying to apologize with my eyes. 

He paused and looked me up and down. " _Obviously_. Just... quiet them down, okay? I'm not the only one trying to sleep here." Zayn then sighed and withdrew from the conversation, shuffling back to his room in a mood. 

"Okay, now let's just try to get everyone inside. Please."

Louis nodded in reply, easing my worries. He walked Liam inside our room while I coached a giggly Niall on staying quiet. Niall promised to sit somewhat silently against the wall outside while he waited for Louis. 

Louis was pulling off Liam's shoes when I walked in. I walked over to the window and pulled my rings off of my fingers and set them in the sill. I listened to Louis pull the covers on top of Liam who was already snoring. His feet shuffled on the old carpet as he turned around, I began to  unbutton my shirt. 

"Um, Harry?" Louis cleared his throat. I jumped a bit and then spun around on my toes, shirt halfway open. "I think this is my cue."

"Oh," I said. "Well um, good night."

"Good night," Louis smiled, taking a step towards me. He whispered softly in my ear, "Sleep well, H." He embraced me then, holding me for a moment. I could feel my bare skin on his where his shirt finished buttoning. My head sat in the crook of his neck and he smelled of citrus and herbs. Louis was so warm and inviting, I wanted to hold him forever. 

I felt his arms go limp and I watched him leave my room, "Good night, Lou."


	4. chapter four

The next morning, I woke up surprised to find Liam still asleep. With alcohol in my body, settling down had been a bit easier than usual. It took me nearly an hour to fall asleep which was a cakewalk compared to what I usually went through. 

The room was unfortunately bright for Liam who was still trying very hard to sleep. Every so often he would roll into another position with a pillow over his eyes, doing anything to escape the sun's rays. The curtain left by our room's former owners was paper thin and kept out no light whatsoever. As I got my toiletries to go and shower, I made a decision to purchase a new curtain soon. Anything would have been better than that awful one.

I had not yet taken a shower in the dorms, but I had grown accustomed to the idea of a communal situation. My older sister Gemma used to work as a lifeguard. Ever since she was old enough, she worked at the local pool during the summers. I had been in the locker rooms with other men loads of times. I tried to relate the experience to that, but still managed to feel anxious. Now I would be surrounded by my peers instead. 

A few of the other showers were running when I walked into the steamy room. I spotted Niall by the sinks washing his face. The mirror had mostly fogged up so he had wiped away a small window to see. He waved to me, catching my reflection in the mirror. I nodded at him and smiled back. The room was very warm and the air was moist, I could feel my shirt beginning to stick to my skin. The discomfort was also paired with how I felt from last night. Every time I took a step, I just felt soggy. But I also felt a bit crunchy. Is there a way to be both at the same time?

"Niall? Are you still out there?" I recognized that voice. It was Louis and he was in the shower.

"Yeah, buddy," Niall called back. "What do you need?"

"Can I borrow your shaving cream? I didn't care to buy one before I left." 

Niall laughed for a minute, he looked happy. I was glad he was in good spirits considering that the night before he'd gone harder than any of us. "Are you shaving your face?"

Louis scoffed, "No asshole, I'm shaving my legs. Yes,  _of course_  I'm shaving my face. 

"Well, that just isn't something I would usually do in the shower," I watched Niall rifle through his bag of toiletries and retrieve a small can. He walked it over to the stall where Louis had his small hand hanging out. "Go easy on it, I only bought a travel size."

You could practically hear Louis rolling his eyes, "Uni lasts a little longer than a spring break trip to Cabo, Niall darling." My heart sank. Did he use pet names for everyone? I thought it'd meant something when he called me 'babe'. He'd held me so tenderly the night before. 

"Hi, Louis," I finally piped up. 

"Ah, if it isn't my favorite little twink!" I laughed at his reply and pulled the curtain closed to an empty stall. Louis knocked on the side of his that was connected to mine. "Howdy, neighbor."

"I'll see you later, Lou!" Niall called and I heard the door swing shut quickly. I suspected he was trying to leave before Louis asked to borrow anything else. 

I stripped off my clothes and hung them on the old metal hook just outside of the water's reach. The water ran for a minute to get warm as I dug through my bag for the soaps I needed. Being under the water felt absolutely refreshing. My first shower in the dorms made me feel like a changed man. Louis hummed a little tune next door to me as I massaged my scalp. 

"I wonder what the gay community will be like here," Louis eventually said. At that point we were the only two left in the cloudy bathroom. I secretly hoped he wasn't going to try and find other gay men to flirt with. I liked being the one. I also hoped that he didn't just see me as some platonic queer ally.

"I guess there's only one way to find out," I finished rinsing out my hair and then moved on to washing my body.

I rubbed my chest slowly with a bar of cheap soap, imagining that Louis was the one washing me instead. Having him so close to me all the time was making it difficult to function, I couldn't keep focused on anything I needed to do. His bright eyes, his shiny demeanor, and oh, God, that beautiful ass. My body tingled at the thought of him joining me in the shower. Suddenly, my daydreaming was interrupted as I dropped the soap. 

Louis's angel laugh rang out, "Did you just..."

I bent down to retrieve the bar, "Perhaps I did."

Louis leaned over as well and our eyes met under the stalls, "Good thing we're not in prison." I just about melted right then and there. _Would he fuck me if we were in prison? Was that what he was getting on about?_ The thought of it was making me hard and this wasn't the time and place to have that happen. I tried to dismiss my thoughts and finished my shower with cold water purposefully. By the time that I began to get dressed in clean clothes, Louis was still in the shower. 

"Oi, what's taking you so long?" I laughed. 

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know," He sassed back. The water in Louis's stall then shut off. I towel dried my hair as Louis exhaled loudly, "Are you busy today?"

My breath caught in my throat, "No. Why?

"Ah, I'm glad," Louis popped his head over the stall as I was zipping my fly, I jumped. "Otherwise I was gonna have you cancel plans with whoever else you were choosing over me. We have some  _very_  important business to attend to."

"You're lucky I wasn't nude," I rolled my eyes. 

"Lucky? More like unlucky." He replied and slid back down.

Louis and I finished getting dressed quickly and then decided to meet back out in the hall outside of our rooms. Conveniently, we were once again located next door to each other. Liam was still asleep when I came in, the clock was pushing eleven at this point. 

"Liam, I highly doubt you're going to want to sleep through the day," I put my dirty clothes in a pile at the foot of my bed. I needed to buy a laundry hamper or basket.

"There's no reason for me to get up," He groaned. I pulled the thing curtain to the side completely, making the sun shine violently in his eyes. Liam winced, "Why does it matter anyway?"

"I just want you to have fun with your last weekend before college," I shrugged, then went to the window sill to put on my rings. "I'm going out with Louis."

Liam just laughed, "Stay safe. The two of you are  _electric_."

"Whaddya mean?" I asked with a grin. The idea of Louis feeling the same about me felt like a million to one, but I wanted it more than ever. I'd never had a real boyfriend before and Louis seemed like a great place to start. 

"You're constantly on a roll with each other," Liam sat up finally. "What I mean is that you have a really promising chemistry." 

His words lifted me up, I had hope. "I don't wanna make him wait too long. I'll see you in awhile, Li." I made sure that I had my wallet and phone before I left the room. 

Louis was leaning against the wall in the hallway wearing a light denim jacket with a fur collar. Part of me had become so used to him smoking that I was surprised he didn't have a cigarette dangling from his mouth right then and there. But prior to what I expected, there was nothing of the sort. He just looked up at me with his sunshine smile and it made me realize how much shorter he was than me. "Glad you decided to show up."

The most adventuring through the town nearby that I'd done so far was done with Niall, Liam, and Louis the night before. Unlike myself, Louis seemed to know where he was going. We strolled down the street together and I continued to pester him into telling me where we were going. No matter what, he refused. 

Eventually we came upon a corner store that was somewhat close to the bar we'd been at. Louis instructed me to wait outside while he went to grab something. He was inside a few minutes, then returned with his hands in his pockets. "I bought you a present."

"Louis..." I began and he just shook his head. 

"I needed to, all you do is steal my cigs," He teased. Then he handed me a small rectangular pack with a red stripe. So much for keeping smoking as a social thing. I turned away any worry of having an addictive personality and accepted his gift. 

I threw away the plastic wrapping in the bin beside the door and pulled out two cigarettes. I put one in Louis's open mouth, he looked up at me, "Here's one to make up for it."


	5. chapter five

Louis was on top of me in the dorm him and Niall shared straddling my hips. He wasn't extremely muscular, but he wasn't out of shape either. Louis had a beautiful body that was occasionally decorated with tattoos. He was kissing my neck in a place that made all of the blood I had flow directly to my cock. I was still wearing my jeans but he'd unbuttoned my shirt all the way, running his hands all over my also tattooed chest. His nibbles and kisses made me moan. 

He pulled away then and then just sat on my lap as I laid there. His hair was messy but still remaining styled, cheeks red from the heat of our bodies. Louis pushed his dark hair back and gave me his sunshine smile. He was backlit in a golden hue, making him look angelic. I could feel his gorgeous little bum pressing against me, making me harder. Louis knew what he was doing, so he ground his hips against mine. 

Louis got off of me at that point and positioned himself between my legs instead. His tongue found its way to the 'V' that my hips created. He palmed my bulge through my pants and I couldn't help but to shudder. "Please," I grunted. "Louis, fuck me."

He just chuckled and his eyes crinkled at the sides, "Not to fast, Styles. I want you to beg for it." It felt as if a million years went by as he unbuckled my pants. He pulled them down to my ankles and I kicked them off. At that point, Louis moved up so he was over me again. He pressed his beautiful lips to mine and he bit softly to get a reaction. I was mumbling his name when he then reached down into my briefs to pump my incredibly hard co-

"Harry, you really need to wake up or you're gonna be late for your first lecture," Liam said. I was instantly pulled out of one of the steamiest dreams I'd ever had. I adjusted to my surroundings, realizing where I was and silently cursing to myself that it'd all been fake. Begrudgingly, I got out of bed and chose an outfit to wear to my first class. I went to take a fast shower in the bathroom down the hall, unfortunately not seeing anyone I knew on the way. 

The last I'd got to spend time with Louis was when he'd bought me cigarettes. We had occasionally passed in the hall and acknowledged each other's existence, but we hadn't been alone since Saturday.

As much as I want to say that I hadn't smoked, I surely had. There was a small gap in the pack. Every time I went outside to smoke, I always took a moment to observe the little box and think about Louis. Although he wasn't with me, it felt like he was. Maybe the reason why I had taken such a liking to smoking was because it was associated with a beautiful boy. I missed being with him and I hoped that soon we would get another opportunity soon to see each other.

My first class of the day was a law-related lecture. I brought materials to take notes and tried to the best of my ability to do so. The first class whizzed by. College wasn't about learning each other's names or creating a community as much as high school was. Our focus was to learn. Eventually our time was up and we were off to the next one. 

I awkwardly shuffled into English. The room felt more homey than the last had, granted that our professor seemed not much older than us. I knew no one in the class so I decided to sit near the back where it was empty. I tried to look busy to spare myself from awkwardness. As I was digging through my bag to find my phone, a scruffy boy who smelled of hairspray and grapefruit slid into the seat next to me. 

"How's it going, Styles?"

I couldn't believe that I'd forgotten that Louis was in my English class. My heart skipped a beat the moment I turned to him. Seeing him in person also brought every reminder of last night's dream flooding back, especially to my dick. "I nearly forgot we had this class together," I said, trying to play it cool. 

"Forgot? No, no, no," Louis shook his head and put his bag down next to him. "I know you, Harry, and I know you wouldn't forget about me." This guy for sure had some nerve, but why was it so hot? Leaving me speechless yet again, I just sat back in my chair with my arms crossed, a smug look across my face. 

Our professor was extremely nice and down to earth. It's important to have a teacher that you can easily communicate with, and I felt very comfortable in doing so. She was deciding to take the first class slowly and opening with a syllabus. 

Louis and I had our laptops open with the guide onscreen. It was once again brought to my attention in this moment that focusing when Louis is around is practically impossible. He had a separate tab pulled up on his computer to take notes as we went through the course description. He was practically writing everything down as his soft hands danced across the keyboard. Part of me wanted to poke fun at how in depth his notes were just so I could get his attention. Another part of me shut the idea down because I didn't want to come off as rude. 

I felt a weak but partially painful kick come from under the table next. My confusion was met with Louis's grin. 

"Fucker," I muttered under my breath with a smile. 

"What did you just call me?" Louis asked, turning to face me with a fake expression of hurt. 

"I didn't say anything," I shrugged. "Now pay attention to class, Tommo." Louis was always sassy to me and it constantly made me want him more. If I was to be the same way, would he have the same feelings? He seemed shocked that suddenly I was coming out with more and more to say. It seemed as though he was enjoying it. 

I felt myself slowly getting closer to Louis as our class continued. I wasn't completely sure if I was the one moving in or he was, but eventually our knees were resting on each other under the table. Feeling him next to me, being with him, even just seeing him gave me an indescribable feeling. Touching him even just this little bit made me think of all of the other ways I wanted to touch him. But unfortunately, this feeling did not last forever. Eventually, class did end and our legs were no longer leaning together. 

"What are you doing now?" Louis asked as we both put our things away. 

"I don't know," I replied. "I may get lunch in awhile but for now I am probably just going back to the dorms."

"Do you want to come to mine for a bit?" My heart skipped a beat and my mind went back to my dream from this morning. He looked down at his feet, giving off a nervous energy. Before I could even make a cognitive decision, I'd already said yes.  

Louis and I walked to the dorms somewhat silently, but also continuing to play off of each other with jokes. I wasn't a very naturally funny person, but he didn't seem to mind. Usually when I tell people jokes they roll their eyes, but Louis tries to laugh no matter what. Although, sometimes the laughter is directed at me because the joke was just so terrible. 

Louis and Niall's dorm was empty when we got there. The room was identical to mine and Liam's, except they'd both decorated it with a few rock posters instead. Most of the bands I didn't know, so I decided not to comment on anything to spare myself from embarrassment. There were a few scattered pieces of clothing on the floor. "So yeah, this one's mine," Louis said as we entered. "Sorry it's messy." 

I just shook my head, "It's really not." I set my bag down next to Louis's bed and he did the same. He sat down on the unmade mattress and motioned for me to sit next to him. All I wanted was to devour him on the bed right then and there. 

"I kind of invited you here for a reason," Louis picked at his cuticles as he spoke. Butterflies were bubbling up inside of me. "I didn't sleep a wink last night and I wanted to try something." I just watched Louis as he laid down on the twin size bed. He moved closer to one side, leaving a space beside him. "Will you lay with me?"

"O-of course," I stuttered. I had been expecting anything but this and I was so pleased with the results. Louis and I just laid side by side at first, inspecting each other in total silence. "How come you want me?" I asked. 

Louis's eyelashes fluttered, "I just enjoy having you around." My hand was underneath my head and at this point he put his hand on my arm, softly touching the lines of my tattoos. He brought me so much peace in the moment, his careful fingers tracing outlines on my skin. "I feel very safe with you, Harry. That's not normal for me." I put my other hand on his waist and pulled him closer to me. He tensed at first, neither of us were expecting myself to do that. Louis melted in my arms and his warm body rested on mine.

It was a surprisingly short amount of time before he fell asleep. I observed the sleeping boy as his face twitched mid-dream. His nose crinkled for some unknown reason. Our feet were tangled together my arms around him. I buried my face in his hair that smell of citrus shampoos and I felt safe too. 


	6. chapter six

The sun had gone down by the time Niall came into the dorm, stars littering the sky outside of the curtain-less window. He came inside quietly, but then laughed once he realized that I was there as well. His chuckle awoke me, "Hi, Harry."

I smiled at him and nodded in response, trying to keep Louis asleep for as long as possible. It partially felt like Niall had just walked in on us doing something bad. Would Louis be embarrassed about this if he was also awake?

"Sorry to intrude on a tender moment," Niall took off his coat. "Are you sticking around?"

"What time is it? Liam may be worried," I said softly and began to sit up. 

"Oh, I was just with him. He was going to look for you, but I'll tell him you're here." Niall got very smiley as he pulled out his phone. "Just wondering if the two of you can push pause on..." He then made a large gesture, "All of this."

I laughed. "Where would we be going?"

"To go get some groceries most likely, can't afford to eat out every night." Niall put his phone in his back pocket. "So, what is this whole thing going on anyway?"

Louis pulled me back down so I was lying with him again, "Honestly, I'm just along for the ride."

"A smart boy," Louis piped up. I thought he was still asleep, my heart jumped. He turned to face Niall, "You ready to go yet? Damn, you're slow." Louis practically bounced out of a bed and over to the chair he had draped his denim jacket on. 

Niall, feeling a bit bullied, collected his wallet and keys. At this point, he was not completely used to the unrelenting sass of his flatmate. He had hopes that it would eventually lighten up, but little did he know that it wouldn't any time soon. 

"Who's driving?" I asked. My friends and family constantly made fun of me for not having a license. 

"Not me," Louis shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. "Didn't you know? Gays can't drive."

"Well then I definitely fit the stereotype then."

Niall, Louis, and I collected in the hallway to wait for Liam. He was on the phone with his girlfriend, Sophia, who was beginning to have severe separation anxiety. Liam was a good friend which made me believe firmly that he would be a good boyfriend as well. Sophia had nothing to worry about. 

Liam shuffled out a few minutes later, looking a bit frazzled. Zayn followed suit out of the dorm behind him as well. I hoped that Zayn hadn't gotten a bad impression of me from the other night, the idea made me anxious about spending time with him. "Ready to go, lads?" Liam asked, and then we were off. 

Niall, the inevitably straightest of us all, chose to drive. The nearest large grocery store was a few miles away, so walking both ways wouldn't have been practical. We hummed along a freeway, Louis squeezed between Liam and I in the backseat. Niall had the aux cord plugged into his phone and was playing The Eagles. Louis made an attempt early on to smoke in the backseat, but Niall didn't allow it whatsoever.

A few minutes in, Louis put his head on my shoulder, he still seemed a bit drowsy. "You alright?" I asked. 

He nodded, "Definitely got the shut eye I needed. Thank you Harold." My cheeks felt hot, my body was bubbling, and all I could do was smile. My crush on Louis was beginning to be undeniable. His head fit easily into the pocket between my neck and chin. 

"You two are gross," Zayn said, finally acknowledging me.

"Ah, Zayn," Louis replied. "Maybe one day you'll get your chance too, buddy. I mean, hubby and I are so happy that it makes sense why you would be jealous. Right, babe?"

I knew Louis was making a joke, but my heart was soaring. "So true, hubby," I put my arm around him. 

Although I was having the gayest time of my life, I was also concerned about whether Louis did in fact have feelings for me or not. It felt like I was being privileged with caring for an adorable puppy, Louis was unpredictable. I wasn't completely sure how to go about it without possibly ruining the friendship. Louis was a jokester, a clown, and a social performance artist. 

We eventually arrived at the grocery store which was the busiest business in the rundown strip mall. Finding a parking place was not difficult granted that there were not many people there this late at night. Liam and Niall decided to race through the empty lot while Zayn walked sullenly behind. Louis and I followed, walking especially close together. I felt comfortable in silence with him. 

It was creeping up to around eight o'clock at that point, so some of us were beginning to get ravenous. I tried to give Zayn the benefit of the doubt as he sulked alongside us during our journey, but he was extremely off-putting. Eventually, when Louis and I were at the end of the aisle trailing far behind, I asked, "Is he always like this?"

"Who? Zayn?" Louis responded, I nodded in reply. "He's always a bit moody, but nothing you can't handle. He really is a lovely guy, you just need to get to know him a little better. Zayn's the 'starving artist' type. Maybe find a common ground with him." We watched him pick out junk food with the other boys, starting to look more excited than I'd ever seen. Maybe he wasn't so bad.

Ultimately, our cart did end up very full. Liam, Niall, and Louis became busy dividing up everyone's things to pay separately when Zayn realized something. "Fuck, I forgot to get new shampoo."

"You better go quick, mate," Liam said. 

"We're five college students paying separately, it's going to take awhile," Zayn retorted. "Who wants to come with?"

"Harry does!" Louis threw my arm up in the air for me. I gave him a confused look, to which he responded with, "I'll divide your things from the others, don't worry. Just be back soon, okay? I'll miss you too much." 

I rolled my eyes but also realized that I was never going to get used to Louis flirting with me. Every time he said anything sappy, my heart had a dramatic reaction. I went behind Zayn, walking quickly to the cosmetic area. "I'm glad you came," he said. "You have nice hair as well, I'm curious to know what kinds of products you use."

_Ah, our common ground. Hair._

"As a matter of fact, I don't use very much," Zayn looked shocked as I spoke. 

"With all of that hair? You've got to be joking mate."

"I'm actually serious," I laughed. "Matte pomade is as far as I go, if at all."

"Louis was sure right about you being a natural beauty," Zayn said as we approached the aisle. "I wish I could have natural curls." While Zayn spent awhile combing through soaps, my mind was reeling. He explained to me his concern with his current products and opted to try something new. I made my best attempt to listen considering the fact that I was so overwhelmed. Once my mind had cleared, we were comfortable chatting together. Zayn and I met the others back at check-out just in the nick of time. 

"Quickly, lads," Niall called as we briskly strode to our place in line. The rest of the boys had already checked out and they were now just waiting for us.

Louis snaked his arm around my waist as I stood next to him, "Have a nice time, love?"

I nodded, "I enjoy Zayn very much."

"The two of you were gone for an hour," He scrunched his nose. "I was worried you'd chosen him over me."

"With an ass like yours? Fat chance," I replied. I was a bit worried that I'd gone too far, but the look in Louis's eyes told me that I hadn't gone nearly far enough. 

Zayn and I paid for our things and we all migrated back to Niall's car. When we were waiting for the others to load the car, Louis spent a minute holding me against him. It felt different than before, the current between us felt stronger than usual. 

The car ride back to campus was tense, Louis was quieter than I'd ever heard him before. On this round, I had the middle seat. Louis stared out the window most of the time, obviously distracted by something else. I pondered what he could have possibly been thinking about. I knew nothing about his home life, so he could have been a serial killer for all I knew. 

"You alright?" I whispered to him as the other boys continued a pointlessly straight conversation. 

"Never better," He grimaced, placing his hand on my upper thigh and squeezing it. All I could think about was putting my hands all over him and I am very sure that was his intention.

Once we arrived back to the dorms, we did not end up staying together for long. We all retreated separately to our rooms considering how late it was. Louis gave me a quick hug before we parted ways, whispering in my ear, "See you soon." He seemed to leave an essence everywhere he went, I knew it would be following me the rest of the evening.

Liam and I microwaved two styrofoam cups of ramen noodles and watched a cheesy sitcom on my laptop. I enjoyed spending time with Liam. Although we hadn't even known each other for a week, I was already considering him a good friend. 

After eating, I was beginning to get sleepy. "I'm going to go shower off my first day of college, Li," I said. "Do you need anything before I leave?"

"Nah, mate," He replied. "I'm going to shower in the morning." Liam was in bed already at this point, looking like he wasn't far from being completely asleep. We traded wishes that the other would sleep well and I collected my things to move along. 

No one was in the bathroom when I came in, probably considering that it was late. I felt comfortable in the silence as I stripped down to nothing and turned on the warm water. The shower head had good water pressure but was unfortunately too short for me. Someone shorter would have enjoyed it, like Louis. The idea of Louis in the shower was dangerous. If he'd been in the stall with me, I would have been history. I considered the current situation and decided to listen to my body. I mean, the bathroom  _was_  empty anyways.

I took myself back to the dream from the night before, trying to pick up where I'd left off. Liam had woke me up just as Louis had put his hand in my boxers. I expected that then he would have played with my already hard member for awhile, just as I was doing there in the hot shower. Louis would massage my balls as well as he kissed me hard and pressed me down into the bed. I would unbuckle his jeans as well and he would kick them off along with his briefs. The two of us would continue kissing and grinding, pressing our hard cocks into each other. 

"Louis..." I moaned softly. 

"H-Harry?" I heard a familiar voice say. I hadn't heard anyone come in, but apparently I'd been too distracted with myself to notice. I turned around to see Louis in a white towel standing on the other side of the curtain that I had  _so_  carelessly not closed the entire way. 

"Fuck, oh fuck," I scrambled, trying to cover my quite obviously erect penis.

To my surprise, Louis stepped into the stall. He grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall, pinning my hands above my head. He leaned in closer to me and I could smell him again, but this time it was citrus and cigarettes. I could feel the spark between us as he slowly slid down, running his hands all over my skin in the process of getting down to my cock. He looked up at me with big eyes as his hands and open mouth got nearer to the tip.

And then the bathroom door opened once again. 

Louis sprang up instantly and pulled the curtain the rest of the way closed. I didn't recognize the humming of whoever had come in, but he turned on his water fairly quickly and began whistling. Louis groaned in frustration and adjusted his towel, "I'll be damned if this is the first place I'm going to be with you."

I laughed, still in shock of the erotica I was practically being written into. "Y-yeah, this isn't my ideal setting either," I said softly. 

"Well, until next time, love," He swiftly kissed my cheek. "Also, you're quite well-endowed." Louis swooped out of the stall and into another.

How was I going to survive this school year?


	7. chapter seven

Nearly two weeks had passed since the shower incident and Louis had not yet let up on the persistent flirting. When we were around the others, he was much more of a character, but remained just as sweet and sassy during our times alone. I'd usually go to his room when Niall was out if he'd had an especially awful night of sleep. I was glad that Louis felt comfortable enough to have me around during such a vulnerable time. We had not talked about what happened, or what could've happened, in the bathroom. 

Louis and I still had not had a conversation about family. It was beginning to become more of a pressing interest as time passed and we got to know each other better. I wondered if he was curious at all about my background, or if I was just a temporary fix. 

Louis and I'd had discussions about our issues with sleep and we had both come up with a system. If one of us was having trouble falling asleep, we would text the other to see if they were awake as well. In this case, we would meet in the hallway and quietly go outside to smoke for awhile.

It was Friday night and Liam and I had stayed in. Louis had went out with Zayn and a few other people that evening. Not knowing if he had returned or not, I didn't want to bother him. I waited until a bit later. Given that at that point it was nearly two in the morning, I decided that it would be okay to send him a message.

"u awake lou?" I typed.

He responded almost instantly, "was just about to ask u the same thing. come out quick!:)" I quickly pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants, grabbing my cigarettes and heading for the door. 

Louis was still dressed from the night's endeavors, nearly about to light his cigarette in the hall. "It's about fucking time!" He boomed, quite obviously a bit drunk.

My attempts to quiet Louis down were useless, as all it made the both of us do was giggle. We walked down to the wall where we'd first shared a smoke. It had become our secret place in the nighttime, I wondered what kind of people used the space during the day. 

"Did you have a good time?" I asked as I clicked on my lighter. 

"Pretty alright," I was beginning to realize that Louis was not completely aware of his volume when he was drunk. "Wish you'd come, though."

"I wasn't invited," I chuckled. "Besides, Liam and I had a perfectly fine night over here. I finally got some work done."

"Happy Friday then," Louis took a long draw, looking up at the clear starry sky. After a long pause, he went, "I miss my mum."

I tried not to seem too eager in approaching the conversation, "Are you close with her?"

He cringed a bit at the subject, "I was."

"Oh, God... Louis. I didn't kno-"

"No, no," He shook his head. "I haven't told you before."

I was silent for a moment as we sat and smoked. The nicotine rush was finally hitting and warmth spread throughout my body. "What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

Louis took a deep breath, "There was a fire last year. My dad has been out of the picture for awhile so it was just my sisters, my mum, and I living together. Happened in the middle of the night, I was the only one still awake. I got the girls out before I could get to my mum..." He trailed off.

I inserted myself to distract him, "How many sisters do you have?" 

"Four. Felicite, Daisy, Lottie, and Phoebe. They all live with our aunt now," He shivered in the cool night air. 

"What started the fire?" I asked softly. 

Louis laughed, but it wasn't the kind that was meant for something funny. "We weren't living is a very, um,  _progressive_  place at the time. Some local rich kids who hated me only got out with a little scolding. But they fucking  _killed_  a woman." He was getting very tense at this point, everything started to make more sense. Louis began smoking aggressively, sucking harder than normal. "But it just so happened that her son was a fag, so it all was okay."

"Louis," I moved closer to him. "I'm so sorry."

It looked as if he was tearing up. He looked me directly in the eyes and put his hand on mine, "Thank you." He put his arm around me and shivered lightly, I rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to keep him warm. "What about your mum?"

"My mum..." I let the cigarette rest in its place between my lips. "Well my mum would kill me if she knew that I'd picked up a smoking habit."

Louis laughed, "But is she kind?"

"Oh, yes.  _Very_  kind," I said. "Her and my dad split when I was younger, she's remarried now. I have an older sister named Gemma who's practically one of my best friends."

"Maybe she should come and visit some time. During a long weekend perhaps?" Louis threw the butt of his smoke down and smooshed it under the toe of his shoe. "I would love to meet someone who means so much to you."

I smiled and looked at Louis for a moment. We were in our own little world together and we were enjoying each other's company. Louis's sunshine demeanor made it impossible for me to be anything but happy. I reached up and put my hand on his face, his scruffy cheek scratching against my palm. "I'm sure she would enjoy you quite a bit."

"Have you told her about me?" He arrogantly pulled back, crossing his legs and smugly grinning. 

As a matter of fact, I had. "I've told Gemma about all of my college friends this far, so yes."

"So, I'm a friend then, Harold?" Louis arched his brows in mock surprise. 

"I'm not entirely sure what you are at this point, Louis," I threw the end of my cigarette onto the ground. "For the record, Liam hasn't tried to suck my dick."

"Well, Niall doesn't whack off to the idea of me in the shower," He retorted, our faces were getting closer. 

"Kiss me, you fool," I said. 

And then it happened. The long-awaited connection of lips, intertwining of souls, frivolously gay contact. The kiss was both rough and tender at the same time. Louis had cupped my face in both of his hands at this point, pulling me closer with the dominance I wasn't entirely sure he had. At first, I awkwardly did not know where my hands should go, so I let them hang there limply. I eventually moved to placing them on his arms.

The kiss did not last long, Louis broke away before I did. I felt like I'd just fallen down a flight of stairs and the wind had been knocked out of me. Louis and I sat for a minute with our foreheads pressed against each other, soaking in the feeling. 

"I've been waiting to do that since I met you," Louis leaned back. 

"You aren't the only one, Tommo," I replied and stood up. "Now let's get up to bed."

He shook his head and crossed his arms, "No, sir. Not so fast."

"Why not?"

Louis paused for a moment, I could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out a way to make the moment last longer. "Will you sleep with me?" He asked. 

I pondered the thought. It  _was_  a Friday night and it wasn't like I had any plans for the morning. This would be considered my first night staying with a boy, although we wouldn't have sex. Maybe it didn't count then. I sighed, "Okay."

Louis and I quietly went back upstairs, keeping completely conscious of the fact that Niall was in the room as well. He was practically sawing logs when we got there so it didn't matter too much how loud we were. 

I sat on Louis's bed and watched him. He stripped down to his boxer briefs that had stars all over and motioned for me to do the same. Mine were just regular black, nothing as flashy as his. Everything about Louis seemed to be flashy. 

He climbed into bed first and then I came second. We laid on our sides, facing each other and feeling like middle schoolers at a sleepover. Louis put his hand on my arm, running his soft hands along my skin. "You have a lot of tattoos."

"Look who's talking," I whispered in reply. "Glad to finally see yours more thoroughly."

"Well, Styles, I'm pretty sure this isn't the last time." He scooted in closer to me and I wrapped my arms around him. His feet were a bit cold so I bit the bullet by letting him rest them on my warm legs. 

"What do you think Niall will say?" I asked. 

"He'll be very concerned whether or not we fucked while he was here. Should we tell him yes on purpose to make him feel uncomfortable?" Louis flashed a devilish grin. 

"You're awful." I kissed his forehead and played with his hair. We traded ideas on how to fool Niall for future reference until we both fell asleep. 


	8. chapter eight

Louis looked really hot while working out. He was wearing red shorts and a white tank top, I watched him do pull-ups on a high bar while I laid lifeless on my yoga mat. He was drenched in sweat and it made me want him even more. 

"You all done, love?" He finally let himself drop down and raised an eyebrow at me.

I nodded and swallowed thickly, "You're clearly upstaging me here and I can hardly stand it." He chuckled in response and offered me a hand up off the floor which I gladly accepted. 

Louis and I strode down the hall together rather closely. A few days had passed since our first kiss and it had been met with many more. We had still not yet told the boys anything. We knew they would react well and not mind, it was simply because we still weren't completely sure what we were yet. We kept our romantic meetings as secret missions in the dark of night. More often during the week than not, I was ending up in Louis' bed and Niall was clearly aware.

We careened into the busy bathroom with our bags of clean clothes that we had decided to bring to the gym with us. I was beginning to like university quite a bit, there were a lot of resources that I could use independently. One of those resources just happened to be paying tuition for school as well.

"Hello?" Zayn hollered into the steamy abyss of a bathroom. "Anybody home?"

"Hey!" Louis boomed from the shower stall next to me, "It's about time. What are we doing this evening?" Classes had finished for the day at this point and Louis had snagged me for some much needed one-on-one time at the gym. 

"I was going to head to the skatepark after I get cleaned up," He replied as I heard the shower to the other side of me turn on. "Want to come with?"

"Do I ever!" Louis exclaimed. "Harry? Are you coming with?"

I rinsed the conditioner from my hair and laughed, "I don't skate, Louis."

"That doesn't mean I can't teach you."

Louis and I were first to get dressed and together after our showers. We decided to wait outside in the hallway for Zayn until he was finished. While we were still alone, I attempted to express my concern to Louis. 

"I have two left feet," I said and ran my fingers through my hair, it was beginning to reach my shoulders at this point and I was letting it grow freely. "I'm inept to skating."

"You know how to ride a bike, yes?" He directed my face with his hands so we were making eye contact, I nodded. "It's just like that except without the handlebars." I didn't believe him for a second.

"What if I fall? I could hurt myself. My mum would never forgive you."

"At least give it a shot? I'll help you, love." He was being extremely kind about the situation, but I knew was getting frustrated. I eventually gave in to his delight.

Zayn exited the bathroom not too far behind ourselves. There was a playground near campus which included a small skatepark. Being a weeknight, it was not crowded with teenage boys like it usual. Louis and Zayn had been chatting excitedly about skateboards most of the walk there, I felt out of place in the situation. I sat on a bench at the side to watch, I was nowhere near their level. 

Gemma had dated a skateboarder a few years back. I had many fond memories of us sitting on the curb outside of our house, oohing and ahhing at him while he did tricks. He'd tried to teach me how to skate at one point, but the speed of the board made me nervous. I knew that it would be hard for me to control something that relied so much on balance.

Louis reminded me of Gemma's ex-boyfriend in that moment, except gay and better looking. I watched him skate around the big arcs that had been carved into the ground with cement. He remained focused for the most part, but every once and awhile glanced over at me to make sure that I was still paying attention. He was a complete attention whore. I mocked him by clapping when he did a small jump.

"You think you're shit, Styles?" He asked, clearly out of breath. He walked over to me with the board under his arm.

"My redeeming quality is that I, for a fact, know that I'm not," I said. "Do I really have to?" He stuck out his bottom lip and nodded in reply. "Alright, alright."

"You don't have to do it if you're going to be whiny," Zayn interjected. Although we'd had a couple of nice chats, we still had our moments. I rolled my eyes, feeling a fire that wasn't there before. I was determined to show up Zayn and impress Louis. 

Louis and I walked to the side of the park that was a short distance away from the steep ramp. He wanted to start me somewhere flat so I could get used to the idea of how it all worked. He offered me his hands for balance as I climbed onto the board. Suddenly, I was standing on it. Even though every muscle in my body was scared stiff and all of my joints had locked up, I was still standing on the board. 

"Are you alright?" Louis asked. "You seem a bit tense."

"Never better," I lied. 

Louis pulled me slowly along with him as he walked next to me. Every once and awhile, I would begin to lose balance and scramble to get myself quickly centered on the board again. Eventually, him holding both of my hands evolved into me having one hand on his shoulder. I slowly became less anxious about the situation. He ran through it with me a few times before saying, "Do you think you could do that by yourself?"

"Lou..." There was caution and fear in my voice and my body became tight once again. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Have faith in yourself, love. I can bet that you've done other things that are much more difficult." Louis reached out to put his hand on my shoulder and I panicked, losing my footing as the board slid out from underneath me. I landed hard on my ass and Zayn laughed in the distance. "Not helping, Zayn!"

I sighed, "This is my last try." Louis nodded in response to our compromise. I got back on the board, but this time by myself. Louis smiled at my small progress, feeling that every bit counted. I tried my best at skating forward towards the edge where asphalt turned into grass. The board propelled me forward at a speed I wasn't expecting. Eventually, the end was near and I panicked, hopping off clumsily and staggering away.

Louis applauded, "There he is! My shining star! My Tony Hawk!" He ran to me in celebration. 

I chuckled, "You don't have to make it such a big deal, Lou."

"Are you kidding? I'm overjoyed." He frowned at me and shook his head. I gave him a reassuring look, not completely sure if he was happy with me for snapping. Getting positive attention from other people made me uncomfortable.

"So..." Zayn chimed in. "Am I just going to watch you flirt or are we gonna get back to skating?"

Louis laughed bitterly, "Don't worry, babycakes, you'll get your time."

_Babycakes? No,_   _I was the only one involved with Louis. Right?_

I had never asked Louis before if we were exclusive or whether or not he was involved with anyone else. He had every right to be, we weren't dating. Before I could ask any questions about the situation, Louis had scooped up his board and darted back over to Zayn. I was completely befuddled. Louis had always made it seem like I was the only one he was after, the thought had never crossed my mind that there may have been someone else. Maybe I was overanalyzing the situation, him and Zayn were just friends. Only friends, at least I thought. 

I sat back on the bench for around a half hour more while Louis and Zayn egged each other on via skating tricks. My arms were crossed and my brow was furrowed as I thought deeply about what to do. Louis was difficult to figure out. He was warm with everyone he knew, but I didn't know what distinguished it between romantic and not. I trudged along behind Zayn and Louis as we walked back to campus. They stayed engaged in conversation with each other the entire time, only once paying attention to me. 

At this point, I was heated. 

We parted with Zayn at the top of the stairs to our floor, his room was at the far end of the hall and away from ours. Louis hugged him briefly as they said goodbye and waited to turn back to me until Zayn's door had fully closed. 

"How are you doing, love? You seem quiet." He swung his arm around me. 

I rolled my eyes, "Did you try to suck Zayn off as well?"

Louis looked shocked, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

I turned to take off towards my room, but he grabbed my arm before I could go anywhere. "You're awfully friendly with him, I wouldn't be surprised." 

He yanked me back in his direction and just shook his head as his eyes met mine.

And then the rambling began. "I mean, I wouldn't blame you or anything. Zayn is a very good looking lad and I know I'm not perfect and, wow, I can't believe I'm getting so worked up over this it's just that-"

Louis interrupted me with a deep kiss in the empty hallway. He held my face in his hands, our noses brushing, "I don't two-time, Harold." 

We pulled away from each other, I kept my palms sitting flat on his chest. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I was so upset. We aren't even dating..."

"Well, do you want to be?" He asked. 

My heart skipped a beat, "Y-yes," I paused. "I mean... If you want to."

Louis grinned like a kid in a candy store and pulled away quickly, leading me down the hall by the hand. "Good. Because I do, too."


	9. chapter nine

"Harry isn't pregnant, is he?" Liam cowered in the corner in disgust as we gathered all of the boys to share our news. We'd been waiting until the weekend to tell them, considering that we hadn't even really had alone time during the rest of the week anyways. 

"You took the words right out of my mouth," I gasped. 

Louis feigned shock by pretending to faint onto my bed, I sat down beside him. "You didn't even tell me?"

"Alright, lads, spit it out," Zayn rolled his eyes from his position between Liam and Niall. "Are you finally dating?"

"Actually, yes," Louis smiled. 

"Wow, I never saw that coming," Niall lied. "Harry, we oughta just trade roommates at this point." Niall had a point and I wasn't completely opposed to the idea. The worry crossed my mind that Louis may get sick of me if we kept such close quarters. 

"It seems a bit too soon for that," I hesitated. "Right, Lou?"

"I don't know, Harold," he took my hand and traced circles on my palm with his thumb. "I'm a bit in the middle about it."

"You'd probably hate me eventually," I said. "I'm very messy."

"So am I! I'm betting that's why Niall is trying to sell me over to you."

"Are you sure you wouldn't hate me?" I had only just become official with Louis and I'd be damned if I lost him now. 

"Can you two just make the decision already?" Zayn groaned. 

"Harry, I'll miss you of course, but it may be the best choice," Liam said. "You're hardly in our room most nights anyway."

I sighed, "Fuck it. Let's move."

Louis squeezed my hands and gave me his sunshine smile, then pecked me on the cheek quickly before the other boys could see. Niall lit up instantly at the idea of getting to share a room with his closest friend at university. He smiled wide and looked at Liam who was doing the same, they high fived. Zayn said goodbye fairly quickly to avoid having to help us swap. 

We spent the rest of the night taking our things back and forth between the rooms next door. We decided that Niall should move into my old room and vice versa. The timing of our decision was good because neither of us had really unpacked much anyway. It also gave me an excuse to put clean sheets on my mattress. 

Niall and I didn't have very many things to move. Once I had carried over my clothes, scented candle collection, and jewelry box, there wasn't much left to do. 

"Does this mean I won't see you as often?" I stood by Liam and watched as Louis as he tried to fit Niall's nightstand through the door. 

"I mean, yes," He replied. "But I still will see you no matter what. We're next door neighbors, alright?"

I nodded and hugged him. I was beginning to become a little sad about leaving Liam with Niall, but I knew that in the long run it would be best for us all. If moving meant that Louis would be able to sleep at night and that I would see him more often, it was the right decision. 

Louis stood in the doorway, cursing under his breath and trying to position the table in a way that it would fit through the doorframe. He looked as if he was beginning to get angry when Niall swooped in and angled it just right. 

"I'll miss you, Li. Don't have too much fun without me."

Louis had been correct about his messiness, but did not completely emphasize how bad it really was. All of his clothes were collected in a pile in one corner of his room, taking up a large amount of space. If I was him, I would have never been able to find anything. Liam had always been pretty tidy and mature with his belongings, my new roommate was the polar opposite of my old one. My mum had always called my room a "creative clutter", but this was nothing of the sort. 

Although law seemed like the wisest choice, a fire had always been lit under me regarding art. I'd left most of my sketchbooks and old pieces at home before the university move, only bringing a few small things to decorate. I'll admit, I had phases. I only got passionate about art if I had a driving force. This usually meant that there had to be a muse, an unattainable boy. I spent most of my time doodling attractive men, so there was no surprise when I told my mum I was gay.

I spent a bit putting my belongings into the new room while Louis laid on his stomach on my bed and typed away at something. Eventually, my clothes had been put in the closet and my healing crystals placed in the windowsill. All that was left to do was make my bed. 

"Lou," I said. 

"Yes, love," he smiled up at me and his eyes crinkled. His hair was hanging in his face and cheeks stubbly, I wanted to attack him with affection right then and there. He looked so comfortable and warm in his black hoodie and sweatpants, red socks covering his cold feet. He knew what I was going to ask him to do, so he rolled onto his back and wriggled around. 

"I need to dress the bed, babe." I picked up the fitted sheet from where it had been sitting at the foot of the bed. 

"But I'm so comfortable," He frowned. "It's late, Harold. Why don't you just sleep in my bed?"

"You drive a hard bargain, Tommo, but if I don't do this now, I'm not sure if I ever will."

He popped up and brought his laptop to his bed on the other side of the room. "Fine, I guess we will need an extra bed for when we have company. Or if we get in an argument."

"Are you planning on one?" I asked and began to pull the sheet over the top corners of the mattress. 

"As a matter of fact," he sank deeper into his large sweatshirt, making him look incredibly small. "Yes. I'm actually typing up an outline on how I'm always right"

I finished putting on the bottom sheet and then I threw my pillow and quilt onto the mattress carelessly, "If you're going to bully me this year, I may need to get a new roommate."

"Well I think Zayn is living alone, and I know the two of you get along swimmingly." I had voiced my opinions about Zayn to Louis plenty of times, so it was no surprise that he was dangling it over my head. 

I went to sit on the bed next to Louis then. He continued to work on a paper for his 'Literature 101' class. He didn't pay attention to me, I didn't care. I watched his beautiful hands. They were both connected to dainty and flamboyantly strong wrists. I thought of the places those hands have been; In his family home playing with his sisters, handwriting something poetic, trying to get to me in the showers. 

I didn't usually think about sex as much as I did when I was around Louis. I was secretly excited about the possibilities of us having our own room alone with a lock on the door. 

"Remember that time you tried to suck me off in the shower?" I blurted out, head resting on his shoulder. 

"Where did that come from?" He scoffed. "I'm not complaining, but where did that come from?"

"I don't know," I giggled and sat up. "But do you?"

"Harry, seeing your boyfriend nude for the first time isn't really something you forget."

"Just making sure," I grinned smugly. "I have to make my mark somehow."

Louis sat with his mouth hanging open halfway, looking at me while I purposefully fixed my gaze straight ahead. He closed his laptop and slid it under the bed, I kept my arms crossed and paid attention to a dusty cobweb in a corner. Before I knew it, Louis was straddling me. 

"Leaving your mark, huh?" He held my face with one hand and laid the other on my chest. "Two can play at that game."

He moved slowly as he leaned in to kiss me, being delicate and passionate. I put one hand on his lower back and the other tangled in his hair. Louis scooted himself closer to me on my lap, which ended up with us rubbing against each other instead. Knowing Louis, this strategy was not accidental. I moaned into his mouth as pressure was added to my groin, this clued him in to continue what he was doing. 

Louis ground his ass into me as we kissed, making me harder every second. It eventually got to the point where our hands started to roam. I helped Louis take off his sweatshirt which he threw on the ground behind him. My hands slid up his chest and I rubbed one of his nipples briefly with my thumb. I began to kiss his neck and collarbones, nipping and sucking, not caring if I left marks or not. "See, I'm making a mark," I pulled away just to say.

"Fucking bastard..." Louis grunted. He fumbled to undo my belt and unbutton my jeans when there was a loud knock on the door which was followed by it swinging open. I pulled away from Louis as he whipped around to see who the intruder was.

"Hey, lads," Niall started quickly towards my new bed, not bothering to look at our side of the room. He got down on his knees to peer under the frame, "Pretty sure I left something here."

"For God's sake, Niall," Louis flipped off of me and grabbed his sweatshirt from the floor. "We made the move for some bloody privacy."

Niall glanced up from his spot on the floor, "Oh, fucking hell. It hasn't even been an hour and you're trying to christen up the place?" 

"To be fair," I said and buckled my belt. "You don't live here anymore."

"It's not even here," Niall stood up and rolled his eyes. "And, Lou, you're gonna wanna cover up those love bites if you don't want to Zayn to tease ya."

I chuckled as Niall left the room, closing the door behind him. Louis grabbed a mirror from his toiletry bag to look at the damage I'd done to his neck. "So, we make sure the door is locked next time?"

Louis grabbed the pillow from my bed and threw it at me, "Fuck off, Harold."


	10. chapter ten

Insomnia is a silent killer. You don't expect the floor being pulled out from underneath you, but suddenly you're trying to push through your day half asleep. Nobody realizes how terrible it truly feels unless you have been dealing with it over a long period of time. 

Louis and I had stayed in to watch movies on Saturday night, he ended up falling asleep around eleven. I worried about moving around too much during most of the night, considering the fact that Louis was clinging onto me like a koala bear. I spent a good amount of time trying to distract myself from the pressure of sleep by gazing at Louis and admiring his features. For example, how his nose was so big, but in a good way. It was triangular but had a very round and pronounced tip, I had quite honestly never seen anyone with a nose like it before. I would occasionally play with his hair, to which he would reply by either snuggling closer to me or rolling in a different direction.

Eventually, morning came and I had only just begun to get tired. I felt Louis roll out of my arms and his weight lifted off of the bed. I kept my eyes closed and continued to try and sleep, taking any moment I could get. He shuffled around the room, opening and closing drawers. A couple of minutes later, a soft kiss from bow-like lips was being pressed to my forehead. 

"Hello, love," Louis said softly, plopping back down into bed facing me.

I opened my eyes with hesitation. He was wearing a large black sweatshirt and some colorful socks that were decorated with small fruits. Louis sat up next to me with his back to the headboard, pulling his knees up to his chest. He wiggled his small toes. 

"Hi, Lou," I replied. "Did you sleep well?"

"Well, I definitely sleep better with this new living arrangement," he played with a thread hanging off of the toe of his sock, pulling and breaking it off quickly. "Are you happy with it?"

"Of course I am," I furrowed my brow. "However, it unfortunately did not cure my insomnia."

"Babe..." He reached out and put his hand in my dirty, messy hair. 

"I don't know if you want to do that," I pulled back slightly. "I need to shower still."

"Oh, hush," he shook his head and continued. "I'll let you get some more sleep. Do you need anything?"

I patted the bed down beside me, "It's only Sunday morning, babe. Come back to bed." Louis just grinned and nodded, sliding back down and under the covers next to me. Our legs intertwined together underneath the covers and I felt Louis' arm snake around my waist. Half of his body was laid on top of mine, trapping me in bed. 

The thing was that I didn't care. He could have held me captive for years and I wouldn't have minded. Moving in with Louis had been the right decision, although I hadn't seen Liam for a good twenty-four hours. We didn't get out of the room too much during our off days, but it wasn't too big of a problem yet. 

Louis laid with me for another hour before he decided that he was officially finished sleeping. "I'll be back soon," he cooed into my ear and kissed my cheek. I listened to him shuffle around as he got fully dressed, the noises were eventually followed by the closing of the door. 

I couldn't sleep in the bed without Louis. All I could think about was where he was, somewhere without me. Instead of going to look for him, which I knew would be pointless, I put on sweatpants and travelled next door to see Liam. I sent Louis a message about my whereabouts for whenever he returned from his secret mission.

Liam answered the door when I arrived, motioning for me to come inside quickly. "He's having a bad morning," he grimaced.

Niall was laid in bed on his phone, with the covers pulled up nearly to his chin and arms hanging out. He was on a dating app, swiping back and forth on the available girls. 

"Niall, Harry's here," Liam announced. "He's come to see you." I gave Liam a stern look because he knew that was anything but the truth. He shook his head in reply and blew me off. It seemed as though playing along was going to be crucial in this situation.

"Hello," I said awkwardly and stuffed my hands in my pockets. "What's going on, Nialler?"

Niall chuckled with frustration as I sat down on the floor next to his bedside. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be single forever, mate."

I was tongue tied in the worst way possible, silence was not the best option for this time. "That's a little extreme."

"A girl from one of my classes turned me down," he set his phone next to him on the bed. "We were chatting and everything seemed perfectly fine and then all of a sudden... just  _complete_  chaos."

Liam interjected, "Niall went out with a few buddies to the pub last night and he decided to text the girl. This morning he woke up to a message that said she only liked him 'as a friend.'"

I frowned, "Oh, bud. I'm sorry."

Niall continued cycling through the app on his phone, swiping right on almost every girl and never matching. "Look, Harry. I'm so  _ugly_."

"I wish I had more advice for you on the topic," I felt my shoulders become tense. "I don't connect with girls at all."

Liam laughed in the corner, "So, where's Louis?"

"I actually don't know. He left me in bed and said he would be back soon, but I wasn't completely sure what that meant so I got up instead." I shrugged nonchalantly, but was secretly very concerned with where my boyfriend had gone. 

"I'm surprised you don't know," Niall shut off his phone and put it on the nightstand. "The two of you are hardly separated these days."

"We're  _dating_ , Niall," I rolled my eyes. 

"And?"

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. It ended up being just the person I had been waiting for. Louis walked into the room with two coffees and composition book tucked beneath his arm. "Hello, love," he kissed me on the cheek and then sat down as well. "How did things go with that girl, Niall?"

Without missing a beat, Niall groaned loudly and rolled to face the wall. He hugged his pillow and screamed into it. 

"Ah, that good, huh?" Louis sipped his warm drink and wrapped an arm around me. "What's the plan for today?"

"Nothing particularly important," I leaned into his side. "Why?"

"I want to show you something."


	11. chapter eleven

Louis led me outside to our smoking spot in the courtyard. Once we were settled, I tested the temperature of my tea on the tip of my tongue. Realizing that the Earl Grey was no longer scalding, I took a thoughtful swig. 

"So," I fumbled for my pockets, trying to find my pack of cigarettes. Once I realized I'd left mine in the room, Louis rolled his eyes and smiled as he handed me one of his. "Did you bring me here to smoke and snog?"

Louis tapped his foot and smiled, "Partially."

I giggled at my nervous boyfriend, "What else then?"

He reached for his composition book, "I wrote you something."

I was pleasantly surprised. I was usually the one giving gifts or sharing art. I doodled Louis in the margins of my notebook usually, but nothing that was good enough to show him, let alone give as a gift. "You did?"

"Don't look so shocked," he laughed. But I was. "It's a poem."

"You wrote me a poem," I repeated back to him. "I just cannot wrap my head around this."

He punched my arm lightly, "You better believe it." My fingers inched closer to his and our fingers interlaced as he began to read.

"I was stumbling, looking in the dark

With an empty heart

But you say you feel the same

Could we ever be enough?

Baby, we could be enough

And it's alright

Calling out for somebody to hold tonight

When you're lost, I'll find the way

I'll be your light

You'll never feel like you're alone

I'll make this feel like home."

Louis had never shared any of his writing with me so I was thoroughly shocked as he read the delicate and sweet words. They were coated in honey, the kind of sticky sweet that you didn't want to wash off. Louis spoke with sunshine in his words, which was not surprising when compared with the rest of his personality. He left me speechless every time he acted.

"I'm sorry," Louis grit his teeth. "It's honestly rubbish." 

I stopped his hands as he went to tear the page out of the book. "Are you kidding me?  _Louis_." My heart was soaring. I could have never dreamed of a person meaning so much to me. 

We leaned our foreheads together as I continued to hold the unlit cigarette in my opposite hand. We sat for a moment, feeling each other's presence. I was the one who broke the moment by taking his pack and putting the cigarette back. "I want to go back to our room."

"Because?" Louis cocked an eyebrow. 

"I'd like to lock our door and spend some time alone together today." Louis grabbed our cups as soon as the words left my mouth. I'd never seen a boy who was more eager to get me alone. 

I walked in front of him on our trip back to the room, trying to keep a head start the whole way. He tripped over his own feet as he continually struggled to catch up to me. I occasionally glanced over my shoulder, trying to play coy. I ran inside our room before he could get there on purpose so I could spray cologne under my arms. Before I knew it, I was turning around and Louis was locking the door. My heart beat hard in my chest as he placed our drinks on the shelf next to the door. 

"They'll be cold soon," I said sheepishly. 

Louis approached me and pressed his body to mine, "Now you're going to get all shy on me?" I just giggled back in reply. 

I let my hands fall to his hips which then migrated to beneath his shirt, feeling his smooth back against my hands. Our eyes met and I wiggled my eyebrows. Louis leaned in and kissed me once, then intensifying his pace. Our lips were hungry and fervent against each other. 

"I don't care if this takes us all day," Louis pulled back breathlessly. "I want this to last and I want to make it count." He helped me pull my t-shirt over my head and rested his hands on my hips, creating a barrier between our bodies. Louis marveled at my shirtless body, "I never knew you had four nipples."

"I may have even more if you look hard enough," I grinned and pulled him in once again, kissing him hard. He nipped and sucked on my neck, roughly kissing my collarbones. When I yelped from a bite that was too hard, I could feel him scoff against my skin. Louis' heat and light filled the room, making me feel powerful.

I reached down to untie the drawstring of his sweatpants. Neither of us were dressed nicely, but that didn't make us want each other any less. In a moment of confidence, I pulled Louis' pants down quickly and pushed him onto the bed. I continued to kiss him against the mattress, but then unzipped his sweatshirt so he could shimmy out of it. Louis threw his sweatshirt into a a far corner of the room. Kissing my way down, I neared his boxers where he was inevitably hard. 

Louis propped himself up on his elbows and watched me as I palmed his bulge, "You and Liam would've never done this, eh?"

I reached into his draws and grasped his hard, uncircumcised cock, "Maybe it's a good thing I moved."

I pulled his boxers down to rest at his ankles as I rubbed the tip with my thumb. Our eye contact was consistent as I licked his dick from the balls to the head. 

"Harry..." Louis moaned. "Fucking hell."

"Was this what you were waiting for?" Seeing him hot and bothered was making me hard as well. I couldn't wait to get him inside of me. 

I wrapped my lips around his shaft and slowly bobbed my head up and down. I started at the top, trying not to go very deep very fast. Louis shuddered with euphoria as my tongue swirled around him. He reached for my head as I sucked, running his fingers through my messy hair. 

"Can you always keep your hair this long?" He mumbled. I made a pleasant noise from my position with his cock in my mouth as a reply, then continued moving. Little did he know what I had no gag reflex.

My salvia gathered at my mouth and began to drip from my lips, I pulled away and wiped my mouth. Louis looked shocked that I'd stopped giving him head, but I was thinking about other things. I snaked back up to him to kiss once again, licking his lips with the tip of my tongue for entrance. 

Louis unexpectedly flipped us over so I was on my back. He smirked mischievously and nibbled his way down to my cock where I was throbbing for his touch. He slowly pulled off my underwear, taking an extremely long amount of time on purpose. Every bit of my body was aching for him. Finally, he pumped me a few times. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, riding the wave of pleasure. 

He did not last long jacking me off, instead he flipped me over and began to massage my cheeks, pulling them apart to expose my hole. I laid face down on the bed, my cock pressed between my pelvis and the sheets, legs hanging off the bed. Louis sucked and kissed my ass, moving to my hole which he circled lightly with his tongue. 

"D-do you have lube?" I stuttered. 

Louis just chuckled and stood up, walking to the drawer next to his bed. "I figured I might need this for college at some point." He put some of the cold liquid on his pointer finger and slowly slid it inside me. I moaned at his touch. He moved up near my face and next to my ear, "I think I know your secret."

"What?" I arched my eyebrows in confusion, then changed my expression completely as his finger slid in and out. 

"You're a bit of a bottom, Harold," He grinned, winking at me before moving back down and inserting another finger. 

"I'm not  _just_  a bottom," I rolled my eyes and tried to speak between moans. "I'm... oh God... A t-top, too."

"I think that's something for us to chat about later," Louis replied. The bottle made a loud squirting noise that made me giggle, he spread the clear substance across his length. "Alright, love. Are you ready?"

"Louis,  _please_. Just fuck me already," I whined. 

He laughed softly and began his entrance, his sweaty chest pressing up against my back. I gripped a handful of the sheets as he slid part of the way in. He could sense that I was in pain, so he said, "I'll go slow."

I nodded and grunted into the mattress as he pulled out slowly and pushed back in, deeper this time. Louis thrusted into me carefully, trying to make sure I was having a good time. He gently pushed his entire member into me and hit the sweet spot, to which I moaned loudly in response. "Fucking hell, Lou."

"Looks like I know what to do now," the smile in his voice was apparent. He continued to push into me, gradually quickening his pace. I felt as if I was in heaven as he fucked me into the bed. Louis thrusted into me with speed and power once he knew I was comfortable. He pulled out suddenly and moved onto the floor, his eyes invited me over, "It's your turn, pretty boy."

I gave him a playful sneer over my shoulder and then stood up from the bed. My legs felt gelatinous and I walked to him, then slowly sat down onto his cock once more. I enjoyed riding Louis much more, I could tell he felt the same way by the look in his eyes. His blue eyes were full of lust, I leaned in to kiss him and nibbled on his lips. He reached down to rub me off as I bounced on his lap. 

"Oh my  _God_ , Harry," he eyed me up and down, taking in the scene. "I've been waiting to do this for so long." He intertwined his fingers in my long hair and pulled my head back so he could suck on my collarbones. 

"I'm close," I said under my breath. 

He nodded into my chest, "So am I."

With only just a few more bounces, I was pushed over the edge. The orgasm was powerful and beautiful, making me moan loud enough for the boys next door to hear. Halfway through, I felt something dripping down by my ass and I realized that Louis had finished as well. My hot cum was splattered all over his chest. 

I panted with him as we sat and came down from our highs. We stood and cleaned ourselves up as well as possible before getting into the clean bed nude. Our legs tangled together under the blanket and my rough hands grazed over his smooth arms, "I still can't believe you wrote me a poem."

Louis just chuckled, "At this rate, you're going to have a novel by the end of the week."


	12. chapter twelve

Following our Sunday escapades, things began to fall into a basic routine. We went to classes, we stayed together in bed, we visited with the others. But Louis was constantly surprising me. Sex had opened many doors for us both. There was an undeniable connection there from the beginning, but being able to be intimate changed the game completely. Both of us were versatile in bed, leaving endless options.

Everything was going smoothly, but I was beginning to realize more and more how disconnected I was from law as a school subject. Sure, to many people it is incredibly interesting, but I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I had voiced my concerns to Louis, who encouraged me to switch my major if I was bored.

“You know,” he said. “University will have been a waste of money if you leave not having learned anything.”

“But I would be so well off in my future if I decided to stick with it,” I complained.

“You’re so stuck on money,” Louis rolled his eyes. “You are never going to have any fun if that’s all you’re concerned about.”

He was right, I wasn’t having fun with school. The only thing that brought me joy was being with Louis and the boys.

At that point, it was hard for me to reply because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of being correct. I eventually broke the silence, “I do art, you know.”

Louis continued on his computer, working on a project that I should have been doing as well. He didn’t look up, “Yes, Harold, I do know.”

I was completely confused. “You do?”

“I’ll admit that having a snoopy boyfriend isn’t the best thing,” he glanced up with a smirk. “But you just get so focused when you doodle in class. Can you blame me for wanting to take a peek?” Part of me was a little annoyed that Louis had been through my books, but I was also flattered.

“You’re a prick,” I scoffed. My phone rang then from its position on the bed next to me. It was my mother. “Hello?”

“Harry, hi honey,” she sniffled. There was a shift, I could tell something was wrong. 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” I asked.

“Sweetheart, I need you to come home,” she stated, sounding choked up. “Just for a little while.”

“What’s going on?” I repeated. “Are you okay? Where is Gemma?”

“Gemma is fine, love, she is coming home as well,” I could tell that she was touched that my heart remained with my family no matter where I went. “Robin collapsed this morning in the shower, I’m at the hospital now.”

It felt as if the blood had frozen in my veins, “Is he okay?”

“He has cancer, Harry,” she said. “He has been blowing it off as a cold, but he is very sick.”

I couldn’t speak. All I could do was stand there and try to process the words she was saying. Louis gazed at me with concern, taking a break from schoolwork. He furrowed his brow at me as if to get a response of some kind, but I was completely blank.

“Harry? Are you still there?”

“Yes, mum,” I cleared my throat, trying to push down the lump.

“The doctors are estimating that he only has a few weeks left,” my mother told me. “He wants to see you. I will book you a flight and send you the information, yes?”

“No, mum, it’s really okay,” I shook my head. “I can pay for it myself. I’ll see you soon.”

She sighed in frustration, secretly planning to transfer money to my bank account after we got off the phone. “I love you, Harry.”

“I love you, too,” I replied. I heard the line disconnect.

Louis observed me with a worried look in his eye. “Are you alright, love?”

I gazed down to where the fitted sheet was tucked under the mattress, examining the folds and wrinkles. “I have to go home.”

“What?”

“I have to go home for a few weeks. Robin has cancer.”

He shut his laptop instantly and strode over to where I was standing, “Oh, Haz.”

I couldn’t cry or speak at all. I was too shocked to do anything about how I felt. “I need to book a flight. I have to go as soon as possible.”

Louis embraced me as we stood in the middle of our room, “I’m coming with you.”

I cocked an eyebrow, “You can't be serious. They would never give you the time off.”

“My boyfriend has a sick parent and he needs me to come with him,” he shook his head at me, seemingly appalled by what I was saying. “I’ll be damned if you go alone.”

“Well,” I pulled away from him. “I’m sure mum wouldn’t mind. She would like to meet you anyways.”

“Bad situations bring people together,” he squeezed my shoulder for reassurance. “That’s just how things go sometimes. Besides, I have to live up to the high standards you have set for me with your family.”

I laughed lightly, bothered by the seriousness of what was happening.

Louis and I booked a redeye that night back to Holmes Chapel. My mother didn’t seem to mind that I was bringing him along, but seemed hesitant on us sharing a room in our small house. My family had only heard good things about my outgoing boyfriend, but still remained traditional when it came down to the little things. I was informed that Gemma would be in early the day after we arrived.

We packed two duffel bags in a messy fashion and broke the news to the boys. Louis spent the taxi ride over on the phone with the school, reporting that we would be gone for a while for a family emergency. They seemed thoroughly confused on why Louis was coming with me, but didn’t seem to care too much. The school saw Louis' education as his responsibility. We decided that we would later email our professors to make further arrangements for what we missed.

After pushing through security, the most stressful part in my opinion, we strolled leisurely to our gate. I was known for getting most places early. In my childhood, my mother had always ended up taking me places late. In a way, it taught me a lesson by showing me what truly makes me the most anxious. It feels much better to have more time than not enough time.

It was barren in the airport. The reduced clutter made it easier to move around and to control my emotions. I was incredibly torn up about Robin, and Louis could tell. He joked around to try and make me feel comfortable, but I was just not really in the joking mood.

Flying made me anxious to say the least. Historically, there were many cases of things going wrong with planes. I did not want to be the person who had to encounter that next. The reality of the situation did not dawn on me until we were in our seats and waiting for take off.

“Are you doing alright?” Louis asked. “You seem tense.”

“I… I just don’t like planes very much,” I replied.

“Well, we could have tried to rent a car or something. I'm sorry. I didn't know, love.”

“Driving takes too long, we don’t have time,” I said through gritted teeth, the plane engine began and I jumped.

"Easy, tiger," Louis chuckled. "Just hold my hand." 

He had noticed my unease to the situation, so I interlaced his fingers with mine. I squeezed him hard every time the aircraft made a sudden movement. As we took off I hoped that Robin would have as much time as possible left.  


	13. chapter thirteen

The plane landed in the dead of night. I fell asleep during the flight, resting my head on Louis' shoulder and occasionally getting kissed on the head. We decided to call a late night Uber to save my mother from the trouble of coming to get us. The cold late autumn air nipped at our cheeks as we waited outside the entry doors. Cars zipped past us as we patiently sat on a bench. 

We still had a few minutes until our driver would arrive. I drew my coat closer to me, the breeze biting fiercely. Louis wrapped his arm around my waist and rubbed my side to keep me warm. We were becoming practically inseparable, considering that we spent nearly every waking minute together. So far our intensive relationship was going well.

Being that it was around two in the morning, the ride to the house was quite silent. Our driver refrained from being chatty, seeing that we were both very tired. Louis and I smooshed against each other in the backseat, both consistently dozing off but snapping back awake.

We decided to fly into an airport that was a bit further away so we could save some extra money. Our arrival to the house was nearly an hour later. The curtains were drawn and the windows dark. I suspected that my mother was inside sleeping and would greet us in the morning when we all awoke. We approached the front stoop and I retrieved the secret key hidden in our flower pot. 

"Now I know how to break in if I need to," Louis snickered softly. I cracked a small smile as I fumbled with the lock and turned the key. 

A sense of uncomfortable quiet washed over the house. Serious situations like this were hard to approach and I wanted to be as careful as possible. I cared for both Robin and my mum very deeply, and I wanted to do whatever I could to make this transition easy. My mum and I had not discussed the full extent of Robin's condition, but I knew that it would come in the near future. We crept through the house as silently as possible, occasionally knocking the side of our bags against a piece of furniture or stubbing a toe. Eventually, we made it to my childhood bedroom. 

Moving out had changed a lot of things in the room. Sure, the sheets and furniture remained the same, but the walls were bare of decoration. Ghostly empty white substituted where the movie and music posters once had been. There was a new lamp in the corner of the room which had a dark base and white shade. I switched it on as Louis closed the door behind us. 

We moved our bags to the wall and began to undress to get in bed. My bed at home was bigger than the twin sized mattresses we had in the dorm. I was eager to sleep with Louis in a nicer setting, literally giving us room to grow. We stripped down to our briefs and climbed in bed. The room was cold, not recently heated by the thermostat. Our resolution was tangling our limbs together and letting the natural heat take over. 

I sat in silence with my eyes closed for a few seconds before Louis spoke. "Are you alright, love?"

"Not really," I replied softly. "I still can't completely wrap my head around it all. Robin is so important to me and I hate to think of him hurt."

Louis nodded, lightly caressing my face with one of his hands. "Can I do anything?"

I shook my head, "You do enough just taking care of me, being by my side." I shut my eyes delicately, trying to calm myself. "I'm scared, Louis."

He kissed me lightly, as if I was a good that could be easily damaged. In a way, he was right, I was very fragile at the moment. If anyone knew about losing a parent, it would be Louis. I felt lucky that I had brought him home with me. His curly eyelashes tickled my cheeks and I realized how much I cared about him.

Everything had been easy so far. Was there going to be a catch?

Louis smelled clean with a smattering of cologne, making me wonder what flavor he was. In the past it had been a salty sweet mixture, but what about now? We began to kiss and I was initially caught off guard by the freshness of his breath. The thought dissipated when I remembered our conversation on the plane about how chewing gum could help make your ears pop from the turbulence. 

I moved into his neck where I licked and sucked. Louis still tasted the same, but the cologne made the flavor a bit musky. He tasted better than sugar, better than the cake my mum made when Gemma was home. Being able to engage with the other senses enhanced his taste. It is most appetizing to eat something that smells good.

"Harry," Louis said with a cautious tone.

"What?" I furrowed my brow. "My mum isn't next door or anything.  _Relax_."

Louis lifted his head and sat up, switching our positions. "Let me do this, you deserve it."

I knew the lust in my eyes was apparent and embarrassing, but I didn't mind. How could I turn down a blowjob from Louis?

He wriggled down beneath the covers to my torso. All I could see was a moving lump in the sheets as I felt the band on my underwear get pulled down to my ankles. I felt naughty, like a teenager who was going to be grounded. 

Louis' warm and wet tongue circled around my cock, slurping noises coming from beneath the duvet. There was something erotic about someone you couldn't see going down on you. Louis' soft lips continued to work their magic with his tongue as a partner in crime. He stayed focused on the top of my shaft and the tip, but surprised me by suddenly taking all of me into his mouth. 

His lips smacked under the blanket and I felt saliva drip onto my inner thigh. I moaned. 

"Fuck, Louis," I said softly. 

"Don't get too loud now," he pulled away and whispered. "This isn't exactly the first impression with your mum that I was going for."

If Louis continued to suck me off that generously, I was going to cum. It was becoming harder to keep my mouth shut the closer I became, and Louis was becoming impatient with me. He slowed down his pace so I could catch my breath, not realizing that the prolonged orgasm would make me louder in the end. By not being able to see Louis, I never knew when it was going to begin or end. It added to the excitement of the situation

"I'm gonna cum," I moaned out lightly.

Louis took that as a sign to stop sucking me off and stroke me instead, emerging from below to kiss as I rode out the orgasm. He pressed his mouth to mine ensuring that I wouldn't be too loud as I came. It was no use trying to be silent, I moaned in his mouth no matter what.

My hips became splattered with my hot and wet substance. He pressed his chest to mine as I panted, coming down from the high. Louis' hands found my hair where he stroked my curls, his cheek rested on mine, beard scratching lightly. Both of us were covered with my mess, which I wiped off with tissues and put in the wastebasket while he watched and waited.

Louis refused to let me get him off, insisting that it was a gift. I rolled my eyes knowing that the next night he would be practically begging for a handjob. I climbed into bed, sweaty and rosy, cuddling up to my boyfriend and falling asleep.


End file.
